So, I used to think that I was confrontational, which is a weird thing for an introvert to say. But, anyway, I guess, in comparison to my roommates I am a bit on the confrontational side. They avoid unpleasantness. Always. I don't I think there needs to be some confrontation in life.
But I am rarely the one to start it.
I was doing some shrink wrapping at work and thinking about all of the issues between one of my roommates and I. They are many. But I never say anything. And I know a part of me thinks that it's her apartment too and that we just manage to dance around each other and that will be enough, at least for a while. But there is another part of me, a growing part, that it waiting for some sort of spark. Some event or comment that it going to ignite everything.
Which is right about the time that I realized that I don't like confrontation, because I don't confront people. I like conflict. I thrive on conflict. I know that when/if that inciting event comes I'll be ready and that I will rip her apart.
It is also occurring to me that I may be without mercy. And this probably won't be a good thing.
But I likely won't initiate anything unless it's just gotten to be too much to bear.
I am waiting though and I actually relish the thought of tearing into her. That's the part I like.
I am totally going to hell.
-Amy
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