Sunday, March 24, 2013

Shower thoughts: Not a Mystery

It occurred to me tonight that I am not mysterious.

Okay, so it didn't just occur to me. I never really thought I was. I'm awkward not mysterious. But it sort dawned on my just how not mysterious I am.

You can tell every single thing about how I am feeling by either looking at me or having a very brief conversation. If I'm pointedly not talking or even looking at you, I really don't feel like chatting. If you're getting short, clipped responses, I am forcing myself to be polite but I really don't feel like chatting. Sometimes it's a general not chatting. Other times I just don't feel like talking to you personally. It's not usually something you did, it's just how I'm feeling.

I am not mysterious but I am fickle.

Other days though I will look pointedly at you until you come over and chat. I will make a comment every time I see you. I will be chatty. You'll get legitimate answers to things. It will be miraculous. Sometimes I even bounce a little as I walk, I'm having a good day.

So, no, I am not mysterious. I'm fickle and moody. Predominately cranky, but such is life.


Saturday, March 23, 2013

Dating and Welsh

Do you remember that time I tried signing up for OkCupid and then realized that I had neither the time nor the energy to try and play nice with people who were asking me asinine questions?

I disabled my account four days later and decided to spend the time learning Welsh instead.

Yes, this happened.

I only regret half of it.

In related news, I can say the names of most family members in Welsh.


Sunday, March 10, 2013

Shrink-Wrapping Thoughts

So, I used to think that I was confrontational, which is a weird thing for an introvert to say. But, anyway, I guess, in comparison to my roommates I am a bit on the confrontational side. They avoid unpleasantness. Always. I don't I think there needs to be some confrontation in life.

But I am rarely the one to start it.

I was doing some shrink wrapping at work and thinking about all of the issues between one of my roommates and I. They are many. But I never say anything. And I know a part of me thinks that it's her apartment too and that we just manage to dance around each other and that will be enough, at least for a while. But there is another part of me, a growing part, that it waiting for some sort of spark. Some event or comment that it going to ignite everything.

Which is right about the time that I realized that I don't like confrontation, because I don't confront people. I like conflict. I thrive on conflict. I know that when/if that inciting event comes I'll be ready and that I will rip her apart.

It is also occurring to me that I may be without mercy. And this probably won't be a good thing.

But I likely won't initiate anything unless it's just gotten to be too much to bear.

I am waiting though and I actually relish the thought of tearing into her. That's the part I like.

I am totally going to hell.


Saturday, March 2, 2013


Amy: I've worked with people too long. I'm really good at pretending to be interested.
Coworker: I'm good at it too.
Amy: No. Not to sound conceited but I'm really good at it.
Coworker: I know me too.
Amy: Uh huh. *smile* Yeah. *nod* No! I know exactly what you mean! *hand flail* Isn't it just awesome when that happens!
Coworker: ...You are really good at that...
Amy: I know.
Coworker: I'm starting to question every interaction we've ever had.
Amy: *smile**

*You probably should be.


Girl Scout Cookies were found!